It was how he had been taught to think from an early age. His brother was in charge now, and that meant more responsibilities for the 21-year-old who was supposed to find a way in life, outside the lulling security of his family. They were not just punks. They were The Outsiders. A name many feared. A name Jake and his brother took pride in. But Jake knew he could not stay, no matter how much he wanted to. The last thing he needed was to let anyone know about his ... peculiarity.He snorted, mostly in self-deprecation. He was a strange one alright. He had never been like the others. This was a little something he only knew. When his brother and the others talked about some girl's boobs and ass, he could only think of strong arms pinning him down, sinewy legs forcing his own wide open and ... He shook his head. Now it wasn't a good time to play with the fantasies in his mind. He feared what the others would think. Hell, he could picture them yelling at him, "Fag!" and most probably. He’d basically lost control of his drinking in the last year or so, but drowning himself only made it worse. Bitch-woman was mostly a memory these days—more of a relief than anything else, and he wished her good riddance. Since finding his mother’s body as a kid, Linden was aware that he was a bit fucked in the head. Life hadn’t been a picnic for him—in fact—it had kind of been like his own little hell. Not that he hadn’t sought help, because he’d been there too. Five years ago, he’d mustered the courage to venture into a psychiatrist’s office hoping that the man could help him sort out his issues. Five years and several thousands of dollars later, Linden blamed the shrink as much as himself for his problems. That experience had only served to convince him that head doctors make people worse, not better. That was the end of it for him. With whiskey on his breath and dying on his mind, he raised the gun to his temple. The pistol was hard and unforgiving, as he was hard and.
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